This is the story of a woman Neeta and her journey. Neeta had a happy and a carefree childhood . Growing up in the secure and loving environment of a family with parents and two siblings, life was quite normal and pretty much hunky dory. Being the youngest amongst the siblings, she was also quite pampered.
Life continued in this vein until she lost her father while still in college. Losing him was a big blow as being the youngest she had been extremely close to him and he had been an integral part of her life. Life without him seemed impossible.
However, Neeta’s mother was a strong and courageous woman. Not only did she not allow herself to be consumed by grief, she did not let her family also suffer. And her attention was especially focused on Neeta who was still studying. She was determined to make her as independent and strong as possible.
With such unconditional love and support, Neeta was able to get her life back on track. She did not want to disappoint her mother, so she decided to single-mindedly focus on her academics. It wasn’t easy as there was constant pressure on the mother and daughter duo from friends and family to get her married. But her mother refused to give in and pushed Neeta towards their goal.
All this hard work paid off when Neeta after having done splendidly in academics, got a job. Both mother and daughter were overjoyed.
Getting a job meant a feeling of independence, of liberation. No longer did Neeta have to ask her mother for money or feel deprived. She was her own person and her mother also let her be.
Into this happy world walked in Sudhir, and she fell in love with him. They decided to get married and though there were a few hiccups in terms of family differences and all before they could, eventually they were able to tie the knot.
A man who seemed to love her to the moon and back suddenly underwent a transformation the moment the honeymoon period ended. From being a sensitive and caring husband he suddenly became an inconsiderate, selfish person. Since they were living on their own Neeta had anticipated the initial period to be difficult. But this … all of a sudden she was totally responsible for the meals, the house, the maids, the shopping and the entertaining. Her own life, her work was of no consequence. It was incredibly overwhelming. To begin with, she had never done all this in her life and on top of that she had to do it alone with no help or cooperation from Sudhir and with the dagger of harsh criticism always hanging on her head.
The icing on the cake was his foul temper. She was not used to being insulted or being treated in a derogatory manner but that was how it was. She had no say in anything. Everything she did was wrong or not up to the mark. Her clothes, the food, the house, the friends, relatives were all inferior.
And the situation always deteriorated when her in-laws visited her. Since her mother in law seemed to be sweet and nice to her she always ended up sharing her woes with her which she later realized was a huge mistake.
Their conversations would get repeated and Sudhir would know all about what they had discussed and more. The situation always ended up taking a turn for the worse.
Once the children came, life became even more difficult. They were her entirely her responsibility and with time all three had to learn to be at Sudhir’s beck and call. He was stingy with money where the family was concerned and would not hesitate to shout at Neeta whenever he thought that she had overspent or spent unnecessarily.
Life moved on but there was this constant fear whose shadow could / would never leave Neeta. This never let her be happy. Her life had not turned out the way she had wanted it to and she didn’t know what to do. It was as though she had no existence of her own. She couldn’t do anything alone. She, who had been a free-spirited and outgoing person had become a submissive, controlled person. She hated her life but could not muster up the courage to do anything because she was terrified of Sudhir’s temper and his language. However, in spite of all her trials and tribulations, her struggles, she never let any outsider get a whiff of them. In front of the world she was always smiling, always cheerful.
The one thing that kept her going amidst all this was her positivity, her grit. As the children became older she started getting support from that quarter. And that sort of propelled her to push back and start taking a stand. She was sick of killing her desires in order to toe the line and so she decided that that was it! No more!
Of course, it wasn’t easy, Sudhir was not used to being answered back or facing any kind of opposition. He started getting angrier and even became violent at times but Neeta was not going to give up. Never a submissive one she now decided to take him head-on. She started meeting her friends, going on holidays, spending money and generally being herself. She flatly refused to do things she didn’t want to and guess what ?!?! The bully started backing off! He clearly didn’t know what had hit her but he couldn’t do much about it.
He branded her friends largely for this change in her but missed the fact that he was solely responsible for this change. It was he and his ways that had pushed her to such an extent that she was left with no option but to push back. And now Neeta was a free, a liberated woman. She was like a bird who had found her wings. And now that she had, she couldn’t stop flying, she was unstoppable.
This was a change which was welcomed by her children, by her friends, by her loved ones. More than anything else she loved herself for having been able to fight back and find herself.
Her confidence, her self-esteem knew no bounds and she was a new person, a fighter, truly her mother’s daughter. She was Neeta, the gutsy one.
Life suddenly seemed worth living….It wasn’t as though Sudhir had changed , it was Neeta who had decided to change and do everything to bring about that change.
KavitaSeptember 24, 2018
Your writing is so easy even though the subject is so difficult! It’s a breeze of a read but leaves you with emotions that go so deep!
BasundharaSeptember 24, 2018
This spoke to me! Reminded me of someone.
Anaisha SukhSeptember 24, 2018
It takes a lifetime to find oneself….. its a quest we all go through….. and once found…. never allow anyone take that confidence and self love/respect away! Stand your ground and be the queen you were born to be!! (For all the fabulous women out there)
Very well written!!
AabhaSeptember 24, 2018
Each time I read your new post , I feel it is the best .. but am glad that for you , the best is yet to come !
Very well written … children are a big support and great motivators.. they do keep you going … the woman in the story was brave . It takes a lot of courage to push back …
Archna KhatriSeptember 25, 2018
Simply and beautifully written , so lucid that it drives home the message effortlessly! You go girl 👏🏻👏🏻
ShubhraSeptember 25, 2018
Very beautifully expressed and written. It motivates those women who are going through the same problem in their life and learn to tackle them. A star in the making
RadhikaSeptember 26, 2018
What a great model she is for her children. Thank you for sharing xxx
Shirley TobitSeptember 26, 2018
These struggles are real. So many women face it. Wish they would all have the courage to do what Neeta did. Love you writing Sangeeta. Keep it up! Hugs