How To Be Happy Alone Without Being Lonely?

Happiness, as they say, is a state of mind. We all want to be happy and always look for ways and means to make us happy. However, most of the time, we put our happiness in other people’s hands. We like to believe that being happy means being with others and spending time with them. While it is true that we are social animals and hence need people around us, it does not mean that happiness can be attained only in the company of other people. Several times all we need is a bit of solitude, a bit of being on our own and spending what they call’ Me time’ to bring that joy into our lives.

But unfortunately, being alone is associated with being lonely. Right from childhood, we are made to believe that we must always have people around us or we will get lonely and bored. We are trained to think that alone life is not the right kind of life. And if we lead that life, we might be viewed as a loner or a recluse. So if we want to be happy, we must be in the company of other people. Nothing could be farther from the truth than this. In fact, learning to enjoy our own company is the best thing we could do for ourselves because I believe doing that is a step towards being self-reliant. 

I also believe that when your happiness is in question, why should others be in charge of it? You want it, so you take control of it. Why should you look at others to make you happy? Look within yourself, do some soul searching and find ways to get to that happy state.

As Pearl S. Buck said,’ – Inside myself is a place where I live all alone, and that’s where I renew my springs that never dry up.”

This is such a powerful quote with so much truth in it. When we take a break from all external things, look inwards, and focus on ourselves, we discover ourselves and reinvent ourselves. We find the strengths that help us navigate our lives.

One thing is certain: we don’t always need company to live our lives. Our own company could also do the trick. One must know and believe that being alone does not mean being lonely. Just because you choose to be alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. In fact, you could be lonely in a room full of people if you do not connect with them. Being there could be a total waste of time for you. Conversely, spending that time with yourself could enrich your life much more because you could be doing something fulfilling and productive.

What does being alone mean? Being alone means spending time in your company. It means taking a break from everything around, taking a pause, reflecting, and doing some soul searching. You will be surprised how this exercise can uncover facets of your personality and help you discover yourself, things and interests that may have been hidden from you.

When you are constantly in the company of others, you are making them in charge of your life. Most of the time, you follow other people, fashions and trends without understanding if that is what you really want to do. It’s more like being part of a herd mentality. There is no need to do that. Don’t be dependent on things, people and circumstances that could be transient and temporary. They are external to you and hence not dependable. It would be much better to depend on yourself and take charge of your happiness. 

I believe that life is lonely;  many of us will face situations when we have to be alone at some point in life, so why not prepare ourselves for it; why not learn how to live alone. So, therefore, for your peace of mind, and mental and emotional health, spending some time in solitude in your own company is a great idea.

Let’s look at how being with yourself can benefit you

1. It allows you to pause and reflect on your goals and aspirations

When you are alone and free from all distractions, you get to focus on your needs and requirements. You get to look at yourself and your life objectively. The road you have travelled and the road ahead become clearer when there is no clutter in your mind.

2. Alone time gives you time to plan ahead

You can take a fresh look at your life and where it is going. When you reflect, you can do a course correction if you think you are not getting what you want from life.

3. It allows you to reboot and recharge

Sometimes the mundane of life gets to us, and we feel stressed out and mentally exhausted; that’s because there is too much going on around us. We need a break to recharge and rejuvenate ourselves. Time alone is a great way of doing that.

4. It gives you time to think by yourself and find your voice

In today’s world, our lives are so cluttered, so taken up by everything around that we often lose ourselves in all the noise. It is crucial to be able to find ourselves when this happens. We need to take a break and start thinking about what we want and how we want it. We need to stop falling prey to herd mentality. Time alone will help you to do that.

5. It boosts your creativity

Alone time is the best time to get your creative juices flowing. When the mind is free, it starts thinking out of the box and starts creating, and believe me; there is no satisfaction more significant than the kind you get when you create something. It is incredibly fulfilling and gratifying.

6. It is excellent for your mental wellbeing

Time alone is also the best for you to sort your emotions and feelings. What is it that you want to do, how do you want to do it, and when do you want to do it; answers to these questions can be best found when you are alone. When you are by yourself, you can think independently without anything/ anyone clouding your judgement. Your mind needs that listening to, that nurturing, that caring.

You don’t become a loner or a recluse when you spend time with yourself; you just start enriching and nurturing yourself. You start your journey towards peace and calm, which your mind needs and craves.

Now that you have decided to find happiness within yourself, we can suggest how you could embark on this journey. There are several options; you could choose one of them or combine some of them. It is your choice because, after all, it is your life and the happiness that you are seeking.

How To Be Happy Alone?

1. Meditation

Meditation is a sure-shot way of being with yourself. Switch off your mind to the outside world and just be with yourself. You could focus on a thought, someone’s discourse, or just some soothing music. It is not something that you can master quickly. It is a skill like any other skill that requires time, patience and consistency before you can master it.

But once you do it, it can give you a sense of calm, peace and balance that can benefit your emotional and mental wellbeing. It can help you relax and destress your life.

2. Discover a passion

When you are alone, you can discover a lot about yourself. Not only discover but rediscover as well. Being constantly in the company of others can lead to your doing things which they are doing or want to do. You may not be able to follow your heart. But when you are alone, you can do what you want, what nourishes your soul. It could be reading, cooking, gardening, trekking or anything you have always wanted to do but could never find time for.

Also Read: The Dying Habit of Reading

3. Listen to music

Sometimes even listening to the music of your choice can be a great stress buster. Tune in to your favourite app/ music channel and listen to your kind of music. And if you so wish, you could swing with it too. This, too, can be a great way to calm and relax you.

4. Go for a walk

Going for a walk alone is another way to spend time with yourself. When you walk alone, you walk at your pace and in the direction you choose; you are with your thoughts, feelings and emotions and can let them take the course they want. This can do a lot to clear your head and give you a fresh perspective on many things.

5. Write a journal

Many people feel that writing a journal is a great way to be with yourself. When we write down things, their significance becomes clear to us. A journal is a great way to take stock of things and situations and work your way out of them; of course, you can’t deny the pleasure of going through the journal later in life.

6. Set life goals

Several times in life, we go through stresses and strains which require us to relook and reevaluate our lives. We can only do it when we can think independently, which can happen best when we are alone. So rather than assuming that time alone is boring, start looking at it differently. Think about it as time for you to invest in yourself. And like every other investment, this one can also pay rich dividends many times greater than you would get elsewhere.

 So you could follow these tips and learn how to make yourself happy alone. Don’t be hesitant or afraid to be with yourself. Take that as a blessing, a gift to better your mind, body and soul. Your physical health and your mental health need that. Believe me; you could be alone but happy.

As Paul Coelho says—if you are never alone, you cannot know yourself.

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Hello! I’m Sangeeta Relan. Aside from being an educationist teaching at the university level for the last 28 years, I have been a corporate wife and a mother to two boys who have now flown the nest. I love cooking, singing, travelling and exploring new places.

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