A Modern Day Girl?

By Sangeeta RelanMarch 24, 2019May 1, 20230 Comments

This is the story of Sasha, a modern-day girl born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Sasha was the eldest of three daughters, born to parents who wanted the best for their daughters and could go to any extent to do that. And what is more, they could afford to do that.

Right from the time the daughters were born, the mother Reena made sure that everything was just perfect for them. They hired the best possible nannies for them, sent them to the best schools in the city and made sure that they went to the best after-school classes as well for singing, dancing and tennis lessons. They were always dressed in the best of clothes, had expensive toys and celebrated their birthdays in the most exotic locations. Since the parents did the best for them they expected the girls too to do their bit in the best possible way. The girls had to perform extremely well in their school and excel in the extracurricular activities as well.

The reason why the parents and in particular, the mother wanted the best for their daughters was that they wanted them to eventually get married into rich families where they would be able to continue with their fancy lifestyles. This was a family belonging to strata of society that did not want their daughters to ever work and fend for themselves. They were only required to equip themselves to be able to get into rich families which would be in a position to sustain their lifestyles. Their expenses, their extravagances, would be the responsibility of their husbands. What was really sad was the fact that the girls were to be educated in the best of places but that education was not to be put to any use. Rather it was to be used to get to the goal of landing a good match. In short, the girls were being trained in a manner to ensure that not only would they never have to take up a job but at home also they would have staff to do everything for them. They were raised to be modern-day girls but with some strings attached.

Sasha grew up knowing very well that her only job was to look beautiful and conduct herself in the best possible way so that she could find a good match. That was to be the extent of her ambition in life. Not knowing anything better she used all her energy to become such a person. She was naturally gifted with good looks, performed well in class and was a good singer and so had all the ingredients required to gain entry into a good family. This was such an obsession with the mother and daughters that whenever they were together the only topic of discussion was families which had boys who were eligible. The requirements were money, position in society, education preferably from a good college abroad and of course a fancy lifestyle.

As was required of her, while still in school she met this boy who at that point other than not being in a good college abroad [age being the culprit!!]qualified in all other respects. And what is more, he was good looking too!! So Sasha decided to befriend him and start the process. Reena was in agreement with her. The boy Sanat also fell for Sasha, not for any other reason but because she was good looking, smart and seemed to gel with him. All through the last two years of school, they were together during which time both decided to go to the US for college. Their families also wanted them to do the same, so both of them worked hard to get into a good college. Their efforts paid off and not only did they get admission in a good college but they both got into the same one. The mother and daughter were over the moon because this meant that Sanat and Sasha would be together for the next four years for sure and after that, they could think of something permanent. Sanat and his family were also quite happy as they felt that being from the same city and the same school, they could be of support to each other in a new place. Other than that they had no other thoughts or ambitions. Sanat on his part felt that he had a girlfriend who was as ambitious as him, had worked hard to get to the college, they got along very well and so he could think about a future with her.!!!!!!!

Though Sasha had worked hard to secure admission into a good college she was now kind of done with all the hard work. All her life she had worked hard to excel in most of what she had to do, so now she wanted a break. After all, she had in a way achieved her goal of finding a suitable boy!! And she had gained entry into a good college so now she could afford to take it easy. She wanted to have a good time. What was more, she was away from home, away from all parental supervision and so could afford to be footloose and fancy-free. Thus she began to lead a carefree and relaxed life. She didn’t go for class if she didn’t want to, didn’t submit assignments if she didn’t want to and partied hard. This was in contrast to what Sanat was doing and though he tried to stop her from all this, she refused to listen to him. As was bound to happen, she started slipping in class. Her midterm grades were really bad but that made no difference to her. And when she went back home for the winter break she actually didn’t want to go back to college because as she said she wanted a break from all the hard work. Anyways she was persuaded by her father to go back but six months later no one could persuade her to do that …….she just wouldn’t listen. She wanted a break and that’s what she took. Sanat went back but she stayed back in India. It was as though she had accomplished her goal in life and could sit back now. She was very clear that once Sanat was done with his undergrad they were going to get married. She had started telling all their friends about this. She felt that since she was going to tie the knot soon there was no need to study any longer. However, after a year of sitting at home, Sasha got terribly bored and didn’t know what to do. There was only that much of shopping, partying and travelling that she could do. At her father’s insistence, she decided to go back to college but she wanted to go to one where she wouldn’t have to work too hard. Her parents found one such place where she didn’t have to follow a tough curriculum and so she agreed to go. But once again after spending six months there, she didn’t want to continue. This time Sanat got very upset with her and told her that for him education was very critical and she had to complete the course if she wanted any future with him. This did the trick but again only for a year.

Meanwhile, Sanat was kind of getting tired of her and her ways. For one, he could not understand how she could be so obsessed about getting married and then how she could lead such a pointless and wasteful existence. He couldn’t for the life of him understand why someone who seemed to be so hardworking in a school would not want to complete her college education. He came from a family which though extremely well off, placed a lot of importance on education. Both his parents were highly educated and wanted the children also to be the same. Theirs was a disciplined family where children were expected to respect the elders, everyone was supposed to have their meals together as far as possible and though they socialized and had a huge social circle, they didn’t believe in partying or meeting friends all the time. Everyone was supposed to work hard depending on what stage of their lives they were in. If children were to work hard in school/college, the adults were to work hard at their workplaces. The mother who didn’t have a regular job had her own NGO to which she devoted a lot of her time. Coming from this sort of background Sanat found Sasha’s behaviour quite strange and unacceptable and he couldn’t understand how her parents could let her do it. He couldn’t relate to their definition of a modern woman.

Once college got over Sanat got a job in the US and he decided to work there. Sasha didn’t like the idea one bit. Though she wanted to get married to him she had no intentions of staying on in the US as she felt that without any household help her life there would be very tough. Since Sanat had made up his mind to be there she couldn’t do much about it and had no choice but to wait. She also decided that since now it was certain that she was going to get married soon there was no need for her to finish college. This once again became a bone of contention between the two. Added to that, whenever Sanat visited India Sasha and her family would start pressurizing him to get married as quickly as possible. They even started telling his parents that the two needed to get married at the earliest. Now Sanat didn’t like being cornered and neither did his parents. Moreover, he wasn’t ready to get married at that point and somewhere he also wasn’t sure about whether he wanted to get married to Sasha. The problem was that she was turning out to be far too overbearing for him and though he kept quiet most of the times and did not react to her ravings and rantings, he was getting a little unsure about the relationship. He was a quiet person but definitely not a stupid one!!

As Sanat settled into his work routine in the US he realized that he loved the culture, the environment at work. The job was interesting and challenging and he enjoyed it. He had plans to pursue his Masters after a few years for which he needed work experience and this job was helping him to get that. Moreover, the job also gave him a reason to be away from Sasha and helped him to look at the entire situation in an objective manner. Soon he had been working for two years and wanted to continue. Sasha and her parents, on the other hand, were now getting extremely restless and were putting a lot of pressure on him and on his parents. When it became a bit too much, Sanat’s parents decided to visit him to discuss the situation with him. Sanat’s mother wanted him to have an open and candid conversation with them about his future plans especially those regarding Sasha. She was very clear that though they had nothing against her, they did not like the fact that she didn’t want to complete her graduation. She couldn’t understand how a modern girl could be so obsessed with the idea of getting married that she didn’t want to do anything else. It wasn’t as though her parents didn’t have the means to fund her education or anything like that. She felt that there was a basic ideological difference between the two families which could lead to problems if they were to get married. She told her son very clearly that if he was interested in her then he had to convince her to first of all complete her graduation and thereafter find some direction in life. She would have to work, do something productive and not just sit at home. Sanat completely agreed with his mother and decided to try and convince Sasha to at least finish college, to begin with. He could see that it would get difficult for him to relate to her if she continued leading the kind of life that she was leading at the moment.

As expected Sasha was not too willing to do what Sanat wanted her to but Sanat was absolutely sure that this was something that she would have to do no matter what. Though eventually she agreed and went on to do the needful, her behaviour, her attitude continued to bother Sanat. He could feel that as compared to earlier times when they could relate to each other on a number of topics, now they had nothing much to share, to talk about. Her conversations were only centred around clothes, bags, shoes, parties, shopping which he found terribly boring. The result was that he wanted to avoid meeting her as far as possible and couldn’t even think of marrying her. Now Sasha was no fool and could sense the change in him. She discussed it with her mother who advised her to become extra nice and soft with him and agree to whatever he wanted. She just couldn’t afford to lose him.

Though difficult, since they didn’t meet that often as he was still in the US the relationship survived. Four years on and Sanat was still in the US and now Sasha and her parents started to panic. Moreover, whenever he visited India marriage was a topic he tried to avoid. So one evening Sasha’s mother told her that she had to do something to get a commitment out of Sanat. With this end in mind, Sasha made a plan to see him in the evening. She tried every trick in the book to persuade him and finally when she started getting emotional and started crying, Sanat couldn’t handle it. Being a soft person, he gave in and so by the end of the evening they were engaged and my morning the whole world knew about it. Though he had given in, somewhere Sanat was not really happy. He was getting a feeling of having been trapped but didn’t know how to get out of the situation. His parents went along with the decision but they were also not really happy. His mother especially had a sense of foreboding but since her son had decided she was there for him, with him.

Within a year the two were married and though at the time of marriage Sanat was still in the US, within six months he had been convinced to move back to India to join the family business. His parents welcomed the couple though again his mother did not like the idea of his having given up a flourishing career in the US to come back. She felt that he had once again allowed himself to be pushed which was true and something that he was also aware of. Once back in India Sasha got back to being her usual self, partying hard, shopping hard. Her day began at noon at a leisurely pace meeting one friend or the other either for lunch or for coffee. She would be back by evening and at night would be out again, clubbing or hanging out with friends till early morning. For a few weeks Sanat kept up with this but after a while, he got sick of this life. Moreover, he knew that his parents would not tolerate this for too long. He joined his father’s office and so now had to follow a routine which obviously did not sit well with his wife. Not only that, but he wanted her also to start working. She didn’t want to but again going by her mother’s advice she joined office but not to go every day. She would go twice a week and the rest of the days she would find one reason or the other to avoid.

Seeing that she didn’t want to work at the office her mother-in-law suggested that she could be a part of her NGO but that too Sasha did not want to do. Sanat was getting tired of all this and though he tried to sit down with Sasha to make her agree to do something at least, he knew he was hitting his head against a wall. The family couldn’t understand how a girl in the modern-day world could be like that. it was unbelievable. And then, like a bolt from the blue, he discovered that his wife was pregnant!! This development caught him completely off guard. He wasn’t prepared to take on such a huge responsibility so early on in life. He clearly remembered having a conversation with Sasha on the topic and their agreement on waiting for at least two years before starting a family. Then how come and why??. A part of him wanted to feel happy about becoming a father but that was only a small part. Largely he could not again brush aside the feeling of being trapped. What was he to do? He discussed it with his mother who told him that he would have to accept this and not make a fuss about it since it was too sensitive a matter. Having been left with no choice, Sanat accepted the reality of his impending fatherhood and started looking forward to this new phase of his life. But what he and his mother had not realized was the extent to which Sasha planned to take over their lives with help from her mother.

Once Reena got to know about her daughter’s pregnancy, she started visiting her daughter three to four times a week and spending a large part of the day with her. The excuse was that she wanted to take care of her daughter to make sure that nothing went wrong. But the fact was that by visiting so often she got an opportunity to interfere not only in her daughter’s life but in the life of everyone else too. She would interfere with what Sasha ate, how much time everyone spent with her, who accompanied her to the doctor’s clinic, how much money she got to spend on herself, a never-ending list. Basically, she started to take over her life and have a say in how things functioned in the house. She made a list of things which she felt her daughter must eat on a daily basis and if she didn’t get them, then she encouraged her to kick up a fuss about it and complain to her husband. Sasha followed her instructions dutifully and never shied away from throwing tantrums and giving hell to the staff. Every day there would be a new issue. Sometimes she would complain about the food not having been cooked well, other days would be her not getting food of her choice or if nothing else then the complaint would be that she wasn’t given food on time. It was as though the entire household was to drop everything else and just focus on her and her demands. She wouldn’t spare anyone and would resort to screaming and shouting if things didn’t go her way with ample amount of encouragement from the mother.

The atmosphere in the house was getting to be extremely unpleasant. Sanat’s mother tolerated this for a while but when things started to get uncontrollable and she couldn’t sort them out on her own, she decided to speak to her son. She told him that he would have to somehow discourage his mother- in -law from visiting them so often and also suggested that if she was so worried about her daughter she could take her to her own house and take care of her over there. She told him clearly that left to her, she was perfectly capable of taking care of her daughter-in-law and didn’t need to be told what to do. Sanat had also been noticing that on her own, Sasha was still manageable but when her mother came, her behaviour changed drastically and it seemed as though all she wanted to do was to find fault with whatever happened around her. He decided to have a word with her, but the’ having a word ’led to a full-scale argument, her mother got to know about it and the next morning she was there to sort things out. Sanat for obvious reasons was livid with Sasha for having involved her mother and told his mother- in- law clearly that she had no business to interfere in their lives. By now, even the fathers had got wind of what was happening. They all decided to sit and discuss and during the discussion, Sasha’s mother suggested that the couple should move out of the family house and live separately. Sanat was not prepared to do that but now Sasha also wanted to move out and once again Sanat could feel that he was being trapped to go against his will. Once again he was being forced to buy peace by paying a heavy price for it.

Though she largely got what she wanted, the mother-daughter duo had overlooked the fact that now, in her own house Sasha would have to assume some responsibility also which she wasn’t in the habit of doing. Once the reality hit home the concerned mother decided to step in and help her daughter. To do that, Reena practically moved into her daughter’s house and started running it the way she wanted to. Her husband warned her time and again that this could lead to disastrous consequences but Reena was past caring. She had this urge in her to make sure that everything went just the right way for her daughter. To this end, she completely forgot that she was treading on a number of toes and putting together a recipe for disaster. Everything was about Sasha and Sanat was like this outsider who was supposed to earn mega bucks and support his wife’s fancy lifestyle and never fall short. Nobody was really bothered about him or about what he needed. He had no control over what happened in the house or who visited his house. He had to be around when required and that’s it. And his parents also were not really welcome in the house. So what was he supposed to do?? Life hadn’t turned out the way he had wanted it to. In the eyes of the world he had everything a man could ask for, a beautiful wife, money, status and was soon to become a father but in his own eyes, he had nothing. His wife didn’t really care for him, his beautiful house was not home, his lifestyle was a forced one. He was always looking for reasons to stay away from home, away from the overbearing mother-daughter duo. The only silver lining was the soon to be born child. No matter what, he was looking forward to becoming a father.

It wasn’t long before the little bundle of joy arrived in the lives of the two families, the first grandchild on both sides. Everything else was forgotten and everyone was over the moon. There were celebrations ceremonies, love, laughter everywhere. The mother and child were pampered endlessly by everyone. This little baby boy also managed to bridge the gap between his parents, at least for some time. Everything was fine till almost six months when once again the mother-daughter duo got up to their tricks. They wanted the best possible everything for the child which was alright but for the fact that the father of the child had to ask his father for money for everything as he wasn’t earning as much as they wanted him to. As it is Sanat was very much aware of the fact that his parents were supporting their extravagant lifestyle without any complaint. So now when he was supposed to make further demands he was absolutely reluctant to do so. He wanted that they should cut down on the unnecessary expenses and not have to ask for more. But Sasha didn’t want to cut down on anything at all. She just felt that everything had to come to her as a matter of right. And of course, there was no question of any discussion. It was always about her and now her son as well. On top of everything else she also didn’t want her husband to travel for work or even work till late. It seemed as though everything had to be on her terms, how so ever unreasonable they may be. She wanted a robot to service all her needs. And no matter how much that robot did it wasn’t ever enough. Sanat was now sick of all this and wanted to put an end to it. He figured that the best solution was to stay away from home as much as possible. The only issue was that then he didn’t get to see his son. In spite of everything else, he wanted to be with Rowan and spend time with him. So he came home, had his meals and then went into his son’s room and sometimes went off to sleep there only. He hardly interacted with Sasha. If he had to go out with her, he barely spoke to her and chose not to react to anything that she said or did. Of course, Sasha could sense this and often complain to her mother about it. After a few such complaints, Reena in her usual interfering mode decided to speak to Sanat about it. And when she did it was like she had detonated a bomb. Sanat just took off on her and gave her a piece of his mind. He told her that she had no business to try and run their lives and since she had not taken the hints he had been throwing at her, he was now making it clear that going forward he was not going to tolerate her presence in the house. He told Sasha also very clear that if she wanted to lead a happy life she would have to listen to him and not her mother. She could go to her house to meet her but he would not allow Reena in the house. Sasha tried very hard to make him change his mind, Reena apologized profusely and promised to stay away but this time Sanat was adamant. Either they listened to him or he would walk out taking Rowan with him. He would move back to his parents’ house. So the choice was theirs. Left with no option Sasha had to relent.

For almost a year things were fine. Rowan wIt wasn’t long before the little bundle of joy arrived in the lives of the two families, the first grandchild on both sides. Everything else was forgotten and everyone was over the moon. There were celebrations ceremonies, love, laughter everywhere. The mother and child were pampered endlessly by everyone. This little baby boy also managed to bridge the gap between his parents, at least for some time. Everything was fine till almost six months when once again the mother-daughter duo got up to their tricks. They wanted the best possible everything for the child which was alright but for the fact that the father of the child had to ask his father for money for everything as he wasn’t earning as much as they wanted him to. As it is Sanat was very much aware of the fact that his parents were supporting their extravagant lifestyle without any complaint. So now when he was supposed to make further demands he was absolutely reluctant to do so. He wanted that they should cut down on the unnecessary expenses and not have to ask for more. But Sasha didn’t want to cut down on anything at all. She just felt that everything had to come to her as a matter of right. And of course, there was no question of any discussion. It was always about her and now her son as well. On top of everything else she also didn’t want her husband to travel for work or even work till late. It seemed as though everything had to be on her terms, how so ever unreasonable they may be. She wanted a robot to service all her needs. And no matter how much that robot did it wasn’t ever enough. Sanat was now sick of all this and wanted to put an end to it. He figured that the best solution was to stay away from home as much as possible. The only issue was that then he didn’t get to see his son. In spite of everything else, he wanted to be with Rowan and spend time with him. So he came home, had his meals and then went into his son’s room and sometimes went off to sleep there only. He hardly interacted with Sasha. If he had to go out with her, he barely spoke to her and chose not to react to anything that she said or did. Of course, Sasha could sense this and often complain to her mother about it. After a few such complaints, Reena in her usual interfering mode decided to speak to Sanat about it. And when she did it was like she had detonated a bomb. Sanat just took off on her and gave her a piece of his mind. He told her that she had no business to try and run their lives and since she had not taken the hints he had been throwing at her, he was now making it clear that going forward he was not going to tolerate her presence in the house. He told Sasha also very clear that if she wanted to lead a happy life she would have to listen to him and not her mother. She could go to her house to meet her but he would not allow Reena in the house. Sasha tried very hard to make him change his mind, Reena apologized profusely and promised to stay away but this time Sanat was adamant. Either they listened to him or he would walk out taking Rowan with him. He would move back to his parents’ house. So the choice was theirs. Left with no option Sasha had to relent.

For almost a year things were fine. Rowan was growing up, Sanat was doing well at work and even Sasha had started helping her mother in law with her NGO. They were all quite happy. But not for too long. All of a sudden Sasha’s father suffered a massive heart attack and passed away leaving everyone stunned. Now Sasha was the only one amongst the sisters who lived in the same city so the responsibility of taking care of the mother fell on her shoulders. Sanat wasn’t too pleased with this turn of events but at that point was pretty much helpless to do anything. The interaction between the mother and daughter increased once again and it wasn’t long before Reena was up to her old tricks. Interfering in her daughter’s life had become so much a part of her persona that she just couldn’t help doing it. Once again she started taking charge of her life and her grand son’s too. Sanat could see what was happening but didn’t know how to avoid the situation. He consulted his mother who thought of involving Reena in her work in an attempt to keep her busy. But of course, Reena had no intention of working. She had decided to move in with her daughter giving the excuse of not being able to live alone. So now she had her daughter around her and was in control of her life. Moreover, she had enough money. So why did she need to work?? With time she persuaded Sasha also to stop going to work and take things easy. Rowan had started going to school by then and Sasha had a lot of free time. And once she stopped working, she was back to being her partying self.

But what the two did not realize was that this time Sanat was not going to take things lying down. He had a plan but he needed time to put that plan into action. He was just waiting. In the meanwhile, he went back to being his dumb, mute self completely detached from everything but his son. Sasha could see the change but somehow when her mother was around she would stop using her brains. It seemed as though she was completely under her mother’s spell and could not think or act independently. With time since there was never any reaction from Sanat to anything, this kind of existence became a way of life for them. Sanat and Sasha were living under one roof but like strangers. Reena’s take was that as long as he was there to provide for everything, was present for all social engagements, it was fine. Sasha blindly followed her mother and her foolish advice.

Unknown to the mother-daughter duo, Sanat and his father had been on a major business expansion spree. They had opened offices in different parts of the world and travelled often to these places. Since Sasha had never shown any interest in her husband’s work he had also never shared anything with her. She had noticed that he had started travelling more than ever before but then she had her life, she had company, so it didn’t bother her much. And if it did she turned to her mother for solace. Another thing that the two did not notice was that Sasha’s interaction with her in-laws was practically negligible now. Earlier her mother-in-law especially would come to see Rowan but now it had been quite some time since she had done that. Whenever she wanted to see her grandson, who was now ten years old she would send the driver to pick him up and take him to her. The only time the grandparents ever visited them was on Rowan’s birthday.

And then came something for which Sanat had been preparing for a while and about which Sasha had no idea. Sanat had been in touch with some well-known boarding schools in the country as he wanted his son to go and study in one of them. He had made him prepare for the entrances without Sasha’s knowledge who in any case had never bothered much about her son’s school work…… It had always been Sanat’s responsibility. Between him and Rowan’s tutor, they had prepared Rowan well enough for him to clear the entrance to one of the most prestigious boarding schools. One fine day while they were at home having breakfast he broke the news of Rowan’s impending departure to his wife. While talking to her he completely ignored his mother- in- law. It was of course like a bolt from the blue for Sasha. But no one was listening to her. She was clearly told by her husband that now that Rowan was going to turn eleven, he as his father had decided to send him away from home to that school. And no matter what anyone said or did he wasn’t going to change his mind. Sasha wanted to speak to her son about it. Sanat called him and when he was asked if he wanted to go away from home he replied in the affirmative citing the reasons that he had given by his father. Sanat had all along been preparing his son for this. He had always felt that due to his mother in law’s influence, the environment in their house had become too vitiated and he did not want his child to get affected by it. Hence he had taken the decision to send him away. He explained all his reasons to his wife very calmly, once again not including his mother-in-law.

Six months on and the parents went to drop their child who was quite excited about this new phase in his life. Sasha bade a tearful bye to her son thinking about the next time she would get to see him. They reached back home which seemed so quiet without Rowan. Sasha kept chatting with her mother for a long time who comforted her and told her not to worry. She told her that it was a change but for the better.

And then dawned the next morning with another change…a shocking one at that!! Once again over breakfast, Sanat informed his wife that he had decided to move to New York, lock, stock and barrel and would be leaving in a few days. He told her that since his business had expanded a lot and a large part of it was concentrated around New York he had decided to move there. The manner in which he broke the news made it very clear that Sasha was not a part of his plans. He made it clear that he had made up his mind and wasn’t going to change it. Once again very calmly he told his wife that she could continue to live in the house with her mother. There wasn’t going to be any change in that. The only change would be that he would not ever visit that house. He further assured her that she would never lack for anything material in her life but she would have to live without him. After all, she was a modern girl!

He further told her that he wasn’t breaking off his ties with anyone else. He would continue to visit India to meet his son, his parents but never her. He wasn’t going to divorce her or anything like that but he had decided to live the rest of his life separately from her. Having said that he walked out of the room and out of her life…